clawhammer


Failsafe Prediction Model is essentially precisely what it purports to be:
​clawhammer’s own infallible crystal ball.

While fortune telling has seemingly always held a prominent place in human civilization, from state sanctioned palmists and astrologers, to the eviscerating of birds to predict weather, never before has the fantasy of predicting the future been as desperately clung to as in the neo-liberal late-capitalist oligopolies of the 21st Century.

Predictive modelling (which is to say, fortune telling) has become the central tenet, holy grail, and evangelical battle cry of all economic policy in the Western world. 

Working from the very formulas, theories, and algorithms, employed by such transnational global powers as the World Bank, the IMF, Goldman Sachs, Deutsche Bank, and the UN security council, clawhammer has set about generating equally ridiculous and abjectly hopeful nonsensical data sets for the future, as we know it will definitely, probably, maybe, sort of almost been somewhat like…perhaps.

Employing such jingoistic jargon and economic fashion babble systems as support vector machines, naive bayes, random forests, artificial neural networks, and sheer blind guess work, clawhammer sets about creating parametric, semi-parametric, and regressive predictive modelling scenarios about the future…all while cross dressing, wearing tin foil hats, playing electricized
instruments, and making a raucous mess.
​ Mind you, there’s something sort of ironic here about describing it all this way when the whole thing is still in development…no…I mean who can predict…?


Failsafe Prediction Model

international troublemakers guild​​